How to Regain Power in a Relationship: When He Stops Making Plans & Prioritising You

Hello, Gorgeous. Today I'm going to be talking about regaining your power back once you've lost it in a relationship. There's a lot of talk from you about, okay, so I used to be the one being chased in the relationship. I used to be the one in control, in power, in whatever it is. I don't mind how you put it, but I used to be the one to feel calm. I used to be the one being chased. I used to be all black hat, and now I am the golden retriever. It is easy to lose your sense of feeling like you are the one being chased as the woman, but it's okay. I got you. We're going to go through 10 to 12 points about how to get your power back and your grounding back. It's important for you to feel like you've got some sense of control. Is control a bad word? But some sense of feeling like you are the prize. It makes us girlies happy, okay?

But before we dive in, hello everyone, welcome to my blog! If you’re new here, don't forget to subscribe to my channel below.  For more resources, explore my self-transformation courses at 50% OFF, including the Ultimate Self-Concept & Manifestation Course, which can guide you through transforming your self-concept and mastering manifestation techniques.

So let us get into it.

First, you need to... there's some notes here, okay, there's some notes. First, you need to regain the power back or to regain him chasing you once you've lost that and you feel like he's just lazing around, not prioritizing you, doing what he needs to do, and not doing what you know you want him to do, is acknowledge the current state of the relationship and don't blame yourself. It's not always through lack of trying. It's not because you're ugly. It's not because you're not his dream girl. It is not any of those reasons. Sometimes dynamics shift, and dynamics often shift in relationships, and that has happened to you. Reflect on how that shift happened though, because a lot of times the shift happens from our own behaviors. We don't like to put too much blame on ourselves, but we do have to acknowledge how you took part in the shift happening. Were you trying to control him? A lot of women fall into the bracket of trying to control the man who's in their lives because it gives them some kind of sense of peace. And I advise again and again till the cows come home that it is really, really important to give him his freedom and autonomy.

And as soon as I say that, women just get really perturbed by that, like, "Oh, but if I give him his freedom and then he goes out and he cheats, and he goes and does what he wants..." Let him is the slogan. Let him. If he's going to cheat, let him. If he's going to do that, let him. And by let him, I don't mean put up with subpar behavior, but by let him, I simply mean let the person show you who they are. Let the person be who they genuinely are without you policing them. You don't need to police the person into being something that they're not. You need to accept people for who they are. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. You need to see where this came from, and often it's from mothering behavior. When you're doing things for him, forcing him into healthy habits, or monitoring him, policing him, controlling him, and not allowing him to have his freedom and autonomy, men often start to pull away and you start to feel like you are losing your power.

The first step is: 1) Acknowledge. 2) Rebuild your self-worth. Because we cannot get anywhere... the mistake we make is focusing on him and how he's going to now see you and how you're going to be the baddest and he's just going to fall head over heels for you. But what you need to do is put yourself at the center of focus again and build habits that boost your confidence and self-esteem outside of your relationship. Yes, girl, I said outside of your relationship. It all starts with you. You need to form a robust circle of self-respect and reflection on who you are. You cannot demand he respect you. In fact, demanding a man respect you is kind of... I know this is a controversial thing to say, but demanding his respect for you, and he spend time with you, and he prioritize you, is kind of a mute point. People who demand that you spend time with them aren't the people you want to spend time with. If it's gone to the point where he doesn't want to spend time with you and he doesn't prioritize you, it's because something has gone awry.

You need to first start by prioritizing yourself because a universal law, my friends: how you treat yourself in this universe and in this reality is how other people see your value and how they treat you. So if you're going around after him saying, "Prioritize me, spend more time with me," you are in the role of a person who is not prioritized and spent time with. The universe will serve you more of that. If, however, you prioritize yourself, you build your self-esteem and self-worth, force yourself—force yourself to create things to do to rebuild your self-worth. Engage in self-care routines, pursue hobbies, surround yourself with friends who are really supportive of you to the point where you treat yourself so well and you've put so much into yourself—and yes, I mean gym memberships, physical things, facials—like, go all out. Because once you've spent so much time and effort on yourself, it's that old adage like, "I cannot cry this mascara off because it was too expensive." You become too valuable and expensive for yourself to be chasing him.

Next, create emotional distance. Now you've worked on yourself, now you create emotional distance. Pull back emotionally to regain perspective. It is not to play games. It is not to be cold. It is simply to regain perspective. This doesn't mean playing around or not texting him back, but rather giving yourself space to evaluate the situation. Stop prioritizing your own goals and interests instead of seeking approval. A lot of times, when you've lost power in a relationship, you are seeking approval from your admired person. When you switch it up with the second step, you now start to have self-worth, and you're seeking your own approval. And you create emotional distance. Do not react straight away. Do not message back straight away. Always consider a couple of times before you reply or answer. Emotional distance, not coldness, not punishment—emotional distance.

Next, set boundaries. Reinforce your boundaries and communicate them clearly. A relationship should be mutually respectful and help establish that respect by, for example, if he doesn’t spend time with you or he is prioritizing something else, be clear about what you expect from the relationship. Make sure it's respectful on both sides. This is not a nag. You are not nagging him. What you are doing is clearly establishing boundaries for yourself. Now, if he doesn't follow through, you have to follow through on your own boundary. A lot of women fall through on their own boundaries. You're allowed to follow through. You're allowed to leave. You're allowed to see what the boundary is and how much you can take. You are also allowed to stay in your boundary and accept subpar behavior. That is your right. You are allowed to choose to stay with the person. That is your right as well. But if you want to follow through, follow through with your boundary.

Next, show gratitude. Now, this is where we need to build positive reinforcement. When he does the right thing, we show gratitude and we give him positive reinforcement for things he does well. This is not training him like a dog. This is encouraging positive behavior. Everyone likes positive reinforcement. We don't need to give him a bone or a treat, but simply say, "Hey, thanks for that. I love that you took the time to spend with me." Little things that show gratitude and appreciation.

Next, do not always be available. I'm going to sound like every 2009 pickup artist ever, but don't be too available all the time. You have to have your own life and your own plans. Don't drop everything for him. He's not that special. Okay, that was harsh. He is that special, but you are also that special. You have things to do. Be busy. Have your own life. Have your own hobbies. Have your own friends. This isn't to play a game. This is genuinely because you should have your own life. It's not healthy to always be waiting on someone else to entertain you or fill your time. Be unavailable sometimes, not to punish him, but because you actually have things going on.

Next, stop over-explaining yourself. Women tend to over-explain why they need something or why they feel a certain way. Just state your needs and let it be. You don't need to justify every little thing you ask for or every boundary you set. Men respect brevity. Be clear and concise.

Next, remember your worth outside of the relationship. Do things that make you feel good that have nothing to do with him. It can be as simple as getting a new hobby, getting in the gym, or pursuing a passion project. When you feel good about yourself and your life outside of him, you stop relying on him for all your validation.

Next, stay mysterious. Keep some things for yourself. You don't have to share every detail of your life with him. Keep some of your thoughts, dreams, and plans private. This isn't about being secretive. It's about maintaining a bit of independence and allure.

Lastly, let go of the outcome. When you let go of needing things to be a certain way, you create space for them to unfold as they should. Trust that what's meant for you will find you, and if this relationship is truly for you, it will align naturally without force or manipulation. If it's not, then you're making room for something better.

Focus on being happy within yourself first and foremost. Because when you are truly content with who you are, you radiate a confidence and a magnetism that attracts the right people and opportunities into your life.

And that's it. You've got this. Take your power back, focus on your growth, and watch everything around you begin to change for the better. Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you found these tips helpful. If you did, please share this with someone who might need to hear it. Stay strong, stay empowered, and until next time, take care!

Coaching Tools & Courses

Cupid's Codex: 100 Hidden Gems of Love, Romance & Dating. Transform your Relationship

Ultimate Self-Concept & Manifestation Course

Manifest Money Masterclass | Attract Wealth Effortlessly

ALL My Coaching Products with Master Resell Rights

Follow my Blog: Awakened Soul

Youtube Channel: Awakened Soul Insights

Love, Light, and Happiness