Breadcrumbing From a Specific Person? Do This to RECEIVE More!

Hello! Welcome, I'm so happy you're here. In this post, I'm going to cover what to do when you are receiving crumbs from your specific person, which really means what to do if you're not receiving the type of love that you want. What do you do if you're not receiving them showing up in a way that you want? How do you deal with this situation? That's what I'm going to dive into in this post. Before I jump in, please make sure you're subscribed to my channel below. Also, know that I offer lots of self-study courses. They are linked below.

What is Breadcrumbing

Okay, so let's jump in. What do you do if you are receiving crumbs from your specific person? And I did a video about this several months ago, so I will link it up there if you want to watch it afterward. It just was a really popular topic, and I had quite a bit of feedback. I was a little bit surprised, but I had a lot of feedback from people, in particular clients, who were telling me, "Yeah, that topic was really, really helpful for me." So I want to dive back into this topic again. Let's explore it some more—who knows what's going to come out—but yeah, I just want to talk about this scenario of receiving crumbs and how to turn it around so you're no longer receiving crumbs from your specific person or from anyone.

So first of all, what does it mean to be receiving crumbs from someone? Well, essentially what I mean when I'm saying that is you're in a relationship with someone, but they're kind of barely showing up. They're not offering you love or attention or care the way you want. Perhaps they feel distant. They feel a little far away. Maybe they're not pursuing you the way you want to be pursued. They just feel distant and far away. So what do you do if you are in the scenario of receiving crumbs with a specific person? There are a few tactics you can take. There are a few things you can do.

So before I jump into what to do, again, I mention this probably in every single post, but we have to remember that we are creating people to show up with us the way that they are showing up with us. Okay? So you are in charge of your entire reality, including the way other people show up with you. This means that they are showing up in your reality based on your expectations of what you're going to receive with them. And how do we create our expectations of what we're going to receive with them? Well, in this type of scenario, in receiving crumbs from someone, what's likely happened is that you're in some sort of relationship dynamic. And probably—like, maybe even—it can go a lot of different ways for people, but I'm just going to speak to one type of scenario where some sort of fear that they're going to leave comes up for you at some point in the relationship, and they start to back away a little bit. And then you start to notice they're backing away, and so then they start to back away more, and you notice it more that they're backing away, and they back away even more.

This is very classic. This is a classic experience in relationships. And essentially what's happening is your focused attention on them backing away from you is creating more of that reality of them backing away from you. So how many people relate to this? I imagine that you do. Anytime we start to feel something off in our relationship or it starts to not feel good, we become hyper-focused on it. We become hyper-focused on the fact that they're backing away or they're distancing, and we're not focused on what's going right in the relationship. And unfortunately, this is just the exact opposite thing we should be doing. This is the exact opposite strategy, if you want to call it that, or just action we should be taking. Because what you're focusing on, what you're giving your attention to, is going to grow naturally. This is what the law of attraction teaches; this is what manifesting is. What you focus on, you continue to impress your subconscious mind with that thing that you're focusing on, and it starts to grow.

So if you're focusing on "My specific person is distancing," or "They're not showing up the way they used to," "They're not really there for me," "They're kind of backing away," and it's just natural—the natural thing for us to do as humans is, when we experience something like that, we become hyper-focused on it. So all of that hyper-focus on what you don't want is impressing your subconscious mind with more of what you don't want, which makes it happen even more and more in your reality because you are creating your entire reality based on your inner focus. We can even say your inner attention. What you are focusing on, you're impressing your subconscious mind with.

Strategies

So if you're in the scenario where your specific person is not showing up the way you want, they're backing up, or they're just distant, they become more distant, or they're far away, what can you do in this scenario to change it and create a new reality for yourself? Really, there are a couple of strategies you can take. One of the strategies is going to include a little bit more of a "fierce self-love" approach, so I'll attach my video about your self-love up there. And essentially, this approach—how you are going to move forward with this type of approach—is you're going to land in a little bit more of your own inner "hell no." And essentially what I mean is if someone is just barely showing up with you, if you activate what I like to call "fierce self-love," you land in a place that says, "I'm not available to receive just crumbs. You can't show up that way with me. I'm not available to receive this little in a relationship. That's not how I roll. Like, that's not for me. If you're just going to show up with crumbs, that's not going to work for me."

Now, with this approach, a lot of people are maybe wondering now—I know a lot of people have asked me before—do you say these things to your specific person, or do you not say that to your specific person? I would say it's really case-by-case whether or not you tell your specific person these types of things, like, "I'm not available to receive just crumbs," or "No, you either fully show up or nothing at all." Here's what I want you to really hear, though, about whether or not you tell your person these things or not: I would say most—like, most often—you would not tell your specific person these things. And there's a couple of reasons. Number one, you're not trying to change them. What you're doing is you're changing yourself, always. That's what manifesting is. You change yourself, and your outer reality changes. So a lot of people might approach this type of self-love or a practice like this really secretly trying to change the other person, almost saying these things like as a threat to them: "If you don't fully show up for me, I'm gone" as a threat. That's not what I'm teaching. What I'm teaching is you have to raise your own standards, and you have to get in contact with your own "hell no" that's like, "Look, I don't care who this person is. They could be my soulmate, but if they're not fully showing up, they can't be in my life." And if you are living with that level of inner commitment to yourself, I tell you people are going to start showing up for you. It has to happen because you are so devoted to your own self and what you're going to receive in relationships.

So most of the time, you may not tell your specific person that you're doing this. You just make the inner changes where you're like, "Look, unless they show up with a text message that has some substance, or unless they show up with some sort of—I feel them really putting the effort in—I'm not going to respond. Like, that's not going to work for me." It's your own inner process. So yeah, I hope you really understand that this pathway of dealing with someone who's giving you crumbs, really what this pathway is about is about you landing in your own inner devotion to yourself, where you're like, "I will only be treated with a certain amount of attention and love and affection, and if it's not that, this person can't be in my life." Again, that can be kind of scary for us to do, but if we do it, the outer reality gets in line, including specific people.

So that's one approach. The other approach is a little softer, and it is essentially this: while your specific person is showing up and just giving you crumbs, you want to start to mold and shape a new story about what they're doing. So again, it's what we're focusing on that is creating our reality. And if you're focusing on "They're not giving me enough," "They're distant," "They're not really showing up," if you're focused on these things, you're perpetuating that in your outer reality; you're essentially manifesting it. So what you want to do is you want to start focusing on this person showing up in a new way. And how you do this is you start telling a new story. You start telling a new story about what they're doing. You can do this a couple of ways: you can do this when there's distance between the two of you. You go into your imaginal world; you start creating a new reality of who they are. You start feeling the new them that is showing up for you in the way you want. And the more that you do that, you're going to start to see them showing up that way.

The other thing you can do—this is a little bit of a stretch for some people, but it also works—is, even when they're showing up with just crumbs, you start telling yourself a different story about what they're doing, and this is how it looks. You start telling yourself something like, "Wow, they're really putting in the effort. Wow, they really want to be with me. Wow, they're really doing what they can to make this relationship work." And I know it might sound a little crazy because you're not seeing that in your outer reality, but that's kind of what manifesting is. It's a little bit of delusion; it is living in the end result. And so you start telling yourself a new story about how they're showing up, and that new story starts to impress your subconscious mind with a new reality of who they are, and they will start showing up that way.

So that's a softer approach that you can take, and either way you do it, what it's going to do is it’s going to start shifting your inner state to a new state of more deeply knowing your worth, more deeply knowing what you deserve. And when you land in that new state, you will only receive what you deserve.

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