How to Get Someone Back (Stop Chasing!)
Hi, welcome! I'm so happy you're here.
In this post, I'm going to talk about why they come back when you stop chasing. This is a very common dynamic, very, very common when it comes to manifesting a specific person. The dynamic is that when the chasing or the needing or the grasping stops, we need to look at the very subtle ways we might be grasping and chasing. When the chasing and grasping stops, it's very likely that they come back at that time, right?
This is really important. I had this happen specifically in my life many years ago, and I'll tell the story about it as well. That's what we're going to look at in this post. Before I jump in, please make sure you're subscribed to my channel below. Also know that I offer lots of self-study courses; there are some of my courses linked below that can help you manifest anything you want.
Okay, so let's jump into this. Why do they come back when you stop chasing, and how do we chase? This is such an important topic. There's a reason I have a playlist about chasing—I'll link it up there—and there’s a reason that I have lots of posts about chasing. Chasing is a really interesting topic because at first glance, it looks like it's completely overt, and there are ways we can track how we are chasing in a really obvious way, right? There can be the obvious movement towards someone, the obvious movement of calling them or reaching out—all of this is, of course, chasing.
But what we also have to look at, on a more subtle level, are the ways that we are energetically even chasing in terms of constantly manifesting. Manifesting can sometimes be a way of chasing if you feel there’s a lot of momentum and energy towards another person. This can all be categorized as chasing, so we really have to look at this.
Let’s first talk about this dynamic. Why, when we stop chasing, do they naturally come back? I have an experience of this. It happened maybe 10 years ago—nine, eight years ago, something like that. This was a very big love in my life, a very, very big love, and he and I broke up. I was part of the breakup; I wanted to break up with him. It was just a really painful relationship for me. I was somewhat chasing him within the relationship; he felt very unavailable to me, and I just had enough. We broke up, but then I didn't want to break up. After we broke up, I wanted to be with him, and for almost a year—for probably nine months, which was a long time for me—I wanted him.
After we broke up, we were not in contact. We were broken up, living in the same city; we were both in San Francisco, and I still wanted him. It was painful to not be with him. It was really, really painful. I was deep in my own therapy at that point. I was exploring why it felt so painful to not be with him, exploring all this. I did know about manifesting, but I did not know about manifesting a specific person. That was not at all in my conscious awareness.
So, I was somewhat just being with the experience, and I'd say around the nine-month mark, I started feeling okay. I was feeling better, and I was kind of surrendering him. It didn’t feel like how it felt after the first three months after we broke up or the first six months after we broke up when there was still a lot of grasping in my own experience towards this man. By the time it was around nine months, I was softer about it; I was okay.
Looking back, what happened was that I had arrived more in my own wholeness. I was arriving into a self-loving space, and I felt okay with or without this man. I felt okay, even though I probably still loved him. So, what ended up happening was that around the time I started to loosen my grip on him, he rolled back around. Of course, of course, he just walked right into my life.
I remember we went and had lunch. I don't remember specifically how he got back in contact, but he was the one who contacted me. We went out to lunch, and then we just kind of moved right back into the relationship. I honestly remember thinking, "Why is this happening at a time when I don't care as much as I used to?"
That was my thought process. Well, this is why, and this is what the post is about. When we are chasing someone, we are in an experience of lack, of not having them, of feeling like they left us, of feeling abandoned. Those were all the things I felt. I felt fully abandoned. I felt totally ditched, totally unloved, and incomplete without him. He was—and still is—a really fun boyfriend, and I had him a little bit on a pedestal, like in my post I just did on having someone on a pedestal. I definitely had him up on a pedestal, and I felt like my life wasn't going to be as good without him.
All those types of feelings are just feelings of lack, of feeling like you are not enough, not whole, not as magnificent, not as amazing. Anytime we are in that inner self-concept of lack, reality produces an outer reality that continues to make you feel lacking. So, this guy couldn't come back into my reality while I was spinning in the experience of not feeling like I had him, not feeling like I was good enough for him, not feeling whole on my own. There’s no way he could come back in. When all that started to clear and I realized I was good—no matter what—it made perfect sense that he walked back in at that point.
You will hear success story after success story after success story of this happening. Of course, this is not the only way we manifest a specific person, but this is something you will hear over and over again. It's like, "When I let go, when I stopped caring, they came back around." This is because you're no longer in lack about them.
The last thing I'll say about this is that this is often the answer to the question many people ask: "I can manifest a lot of different things in my life, but I struggle to manifest my specific person. Why is that?" The answer is, those other things that are easy for you to manifest—you're not in lack about them. You don’t feel like you can't have them, like they’re out of reach, or like you've been abandoned by those things. You don’t feel the lack, and that’s the only reason.
Manifesting is the simplest equation: What you feel predominantly within is what you create out there. If your predominant inner state is, or you continuously go back into the state of, "I’m missing this person, they're not here, I've been left," all of these things are just a mirrored reflection that will show you what’s out there. Yes, you've been left, yes, you’re missing that person, yes, they're not here. You’ll just keep seeing that reflection.
When we shift into the inner state of nothing's missing, I’m good, I’m amazing, I can have anyone I want, the outer reality reflects that. The outer reality is like, "Yep, you're good, you're amazing, you can have anyone you want." It’s a direct reflection. You guys know this. You’re doing amazing at this. I love it. I love hearing all your success stories—so many have been coming in over the past month or two. It's so fun to read all your success stories. Keep them coming!
You guys got this, I know you know what to do. Thank you so much for being here with me in this post. Please make sure you subscribe to my channel, and comment below. I’ll see you soon. Bye!
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